Soooo....

The adults are back. Remy got back with Rogue.

Its useless. I cant have him. That illusion was merely that, and it breaks my heart.

That aside, I am typing onehanded, ignore typos. Why/ My left arm got hacked off when the Purifiers attacked. FUCK! Tis is hard.

Mistress Myth

LIFE is INSANE

So, after... An interesting conversation last night in the kitchen, and... A /wonderful/ night in Remy's bed, I'm... Involved with him again.

But now he and all the other senior X-Men are gone. I have no clue where. It's up to us now.

Hey guys...

I wish I could say I haven't updated because I'm busy being a mom and an X-Man...

No, it isn't true. All of my relationship with him turned out to be such a believable illusion, it fooled even me. I've tried to pursue an actual relationship with him, but to no avail. And somewhere down the road, Victor tried to cheer me up with some X tabs.

My life has been so fucked up, and I'm trying to make it better... Even tried to pick up my classes, y'know? Finish school and all... And I just... I'm still so injured. I was so happy in that illusion sometimes... It felt like, at last, I was allowed to be happy. And now I'm back to lonely misery.

All I want... All I ever wanted... Is to be loved.

Victor told Remy, after we tried going out and stuff... I had no idea, until I was at his plantation house in New Orleans. Then the very next day, he said something like, "She's a nice girl and all, but it'd be too weird."

My heart shattered. It's pointless. I can't have him, I get it now.

But why do I want him so bad? Why do I want him to love me? Why him?