Okay. So.

I need to blog more often, fucking damn. Well. I am...

Well, I was pregnant. Apparently, when I had no clue I was pregnant, and kept partying, I fucked up. Big time. At least, that's what the doctor told me. Also blamed it partially on my body rejecting the pregnancy. I promptly punched that fucker in the face and left the office. Came home, and for the past two days have been drinking a bit to take the edge off. I'm trying not to let it show that I'm hurting, but I'm sure people've noticed.

And those people know exactly who they are... -sighs- I feel like a failure. Like life doesn't even want me to try being a mother. And, maybe, partially it is my own fear. Fear that I'll be like my father.

Also learned something. I'm just a little cranky and clingy when I'm drunk, and it takes at least six bottles of bourbon, big bottles of bourbon mind you, to get me drunk to the point I forget who I am.

Well, with that in mind, off to buy more booze and drown m'sorrows!