I Need To Feel Real.

I can just feel my sanity cracking, slipping away, falling to pieces around me. I'm losing Victor, god damn it, I'm losing him! If this were any other friend, I'd cry and scream at them for a few minutes then go laugh it up with him at a club...

But it's Victor. He's the other part of me. He's... He's my best friend. One of the only people in this world I could trust and be myself around! He's seen sides of me I wouldn't dare show anyone else. Seen sides of me I'll never show Remy. Sides of me reserved just for him... He knows me better than anyone else in this world, and yet...

I can't lose him like this. I'm breaking. I can't break. Not like this. I have no sense of reality anymore, I'm losing all touch with it. It's vanishing. Soon, all I see will be illusions at this rate. I need something to hold onto. What do I have? What can I hold on to? Friends? No, I'm losing Victor. Loves? No, I'm scared it's not real.

I need to know this is real! I can't live like this! Where is the reality?!

I just need to feel real.